Where Did You Learn The Word Orgy?

I was young very young the first time I heard the word Orgy. I don’t remember how young, but prolly around 4 or 5 years old. I was in church at the time. Through some odd fluke of acoustics and my child’s attention span, I actually heard something the pastor said. And in that something the pastor used that little word. He was talking about something horrible and evil, a sin.

Of course, I didn’t know what an orgy was, let alone why it would be a dark evil sin. But I was a good kid. I knew what to do when there was the threat of an unguarded sin looming on the horizon of my life. I went straight to my parents!

As we were leaving the church, I said, “Mom, what’s an orgy?”

“What?!” she exclaimed as only a full-blooded Italian mother could. She used that same tone she had used when she caught me stealing candy, “Where did you hear that?”

The confident courage I had mustered to ask the question was flooded out by a surge of fear. Whatever this orgy thing was, it was so bad that I wasn’t even supposed to know the word existed! Ooooh, I was in trouble now! But what could I do? I had already opened the topic up for a general discussion with one of the two most authoritative people in my life. There was nothing to do but succumb to the interogation.

I managed to find my voice enough to answer her, “In church just now.” My voice quavered a little.

“Oh,” she said simply. Then, “Ask your father.”

It was strange. All that attention she had been focusing on me, on digging out the roots of my transgressions suddenly vanished. No, not vanished, it inverted. Instead of directing all her divining attention on me, she was actually trying to divert my attention away from her. And I, being but a child, had no choice but to be diverted.

“Dad?” I said as we were walking out to the car, “What’s an orgy?”

“What?” he said comparitively calmly. “Where did you hear that?” he demanded with a calm intensity that was somehow even more intimidating than my mother’s boiling exclamations.

“Uh,” I stammered, “In church.”

“You heard that word in church?” he asked incredulously, clearly not buying my story, which is really not surprising considering how often my stories were much more real in my head than out.

“Yes. From the pastor,” I said quickly, then quoted to him the phrase that the pastor had used.

“Oh,” he said. Really, he should have been impressed at how closely I had been paying attention, and how clearly I had remembered the sermon! Instead he seemed a little concerned that now he actually had to answer the question. He put on his best educational tone, then plunged right in, “An orgy is when several people all get together and have sex.”

“At the same time?” I asked incorrigibly.

“Yes, at the same time,” he answered stiffly.

And that’s the story of how I learned the word Orgy from church. Well where did you first hear the word Orgy?

. Topher

Leave a Reply